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CHECK US OUT AT OUR NEW HOME: www.themayorandthehair.com

Indeed, he is that good looking

In these photos, Oakland's Mayor Ron Dellums looks downright flummoxed by Gavin Newsom's dashing good looks, flirtatious tongue-biting and perfectly gelled mane. Which, dear readers, seems a gem of an opportunity for a...CAPTION CONTEST!

Like, New Yorker-style. Except instead of publishing the most unfunny, curmudgeonly captions -- bitter grumble -- we'll let them all see the light of day on this here corner of the World Wide Web. Have at it!

--Maggie Arlington

Part 1 of Maggie and Alex at the Wax Museum!

San Francisco: The city by the bay or the city with reporters who have no shame?

I was proud to be a broadcast reporter until I watched ABC 7 News' recent sensationalist hit-piece on Gavin Newsom. Like so many of us in this industry, longtime reporter Dan Noyes, whom I formerly considered one of my professional inspirations, is bloodthirsty. But he's no longer satisfied with merely looking for the kill; now he's doing the killing. The victims? The integrity of the entire profession of journalism and, most notably, the Gav.

You see, last week Matier and Ross reported in their salacious gossip column that Gavin had shown up intoxicated at San Francisco General Hospital shortly after a police officer was shot and killed. The Gav was reportedly extremely affectionate with the grieving family. Said one unnamed witness to the Chronicle: "He was very, very emotional, almost to tears -- asking how this could have happened. He was hugging people -- maybe a little too long for comfort -- and kissing them on the head." Hardly a crime! But, from the tone of Matier and Ross' report, you would think Gavin had bludgeoned the grieving clan to death with a hospital clipboard before slinking off to booze it up at another holiday party.

Of course, as soon as the story went to print the bloodhounds were released by the dozens. Just when Gavin thought he had weathered the worst of it, in enters Noyes with a swift one-two below the belt, after the final bell. As you will see in the video below, this man has no shame. The Gav, being the dignified gentleman that he is, removes himself from the situation. But not before blasting Noyes with this: "You keep missing consistently a lot of facts because your opinion is so enthusiastic." Hey, Noyes, newsflash: journalists aren't supposed to have an opinion! Where'd you go to J-school, huh? University of Biased Reporting?



On a cheerier note, my Katsopolistas and Gavinites, here's a little something to look forward to:


--Maggie Arlington

Our second prediction for JesseGav in '07

The JesseGav Movement: Spread the Word

Here's a very special Sunday morning offering for our dedicated JesseGav disciples: your very own poster with a little hair doll kissing action. Have mercy!



Instructions:

1.) Click the photo above.
2.) Print it out in bulk.
3.) Post it around your neighborhood, hand it out to friends, slip it in Gavin's mailbox and paper Yellow Cab HQ with it. Or, just keep us all to yourself.

--Maggie Arlington

The duo at the dome

Click the image to read The Mayor and The Hair comic!

A lesson in crafting hair dolls

Link of the Day: High marks for Outrage!

Dear Gavinites,

I have to warn you. The link at the bottom of this post is a little upsetting. As Maggie has pointed out, Mayor Gavin has a few enemies. Today, I think I stumbled across new evidence of their sly handiwork, and it wasn't pretty.

Yahoo! News reports that only 6 out of 75 U.S. cities received top marks for disaster preparedness. First off, San Francisco didn't make the cut. We were bumped by, among others, the squeaky clean do-gooders of Laramie County, Wyoming.

But it gets worse. The article added insult to injury with this revelation: "San Francisco, by comparison, received intermediate grades in governance and procedures."

Intermediate grades in governance? Excuse me? A blow to San Francisco's goverance is a blow directly at The Mayor. I just can't stand for this kind of absurd mud-slinging. Did they not read my coverage of Gavin's Christmas miracle? The Mayor is a busy individual; he can't just take a break from running an entire city to detail his plans about what exactly would happen if some entirely unforeseeable disaster of some kind were to shake the city of San Francisco, rattle our foundations of security, cause us to quake in our collective earths.

Just what, I ask you, are they defining as "governance?" Have they seen this:



That's not just some token hand gesture, not just an awkwardly bungled wave to the cameras. No, my friends. That is the ol' thumbs up--the universal sign that everything is most definitely under control. Just looking at that picture--Gavin's steady gaze beaming up and into the sky, his strong hand curled to send out a message of hope to us all--I feel the calm washing over me. You know what else is in those hands? Our future. And it looks bright, indeed, no matter what some Yahoo! reporter might claim.

In fact, as a show of solidarity with The Gav, I spent my night on a little arts and crafts project, and I invite all you readers out there to do the same. I stayed late at work, waiting until everyone had left for the day. Then I snuck into the boss's office and printed the above picture out on her color printer. I got a little bit of a scare when the night janitors came in, but I was able to quickly stuff all the contents of the wastebasket into my sweater and hold up the empty can for them to see through the door. Thank goodness I was wearing a dickie! Bulky layers could have been my undoing.



As soon as I got home (and fed the cat, of course!) I broke out the office supply box. I carefully cut out the picture and pasted it onto the outside of my trusty Emergency Kit. Because you know what? No matter how many flashlights, gas masks, or emergency flares I may have, there's nothing like good old fashioned hope. Gavin might not be able to whip our disaster plans into shape, leaving us to our fates amid crumbled buildings and roving post-apocalyptic street gangs--but he can reinforce the foundations in our hearts.



So while I boil water over canned heat and ration out my dehydrated vitamin powder, I will have this symbol of Gav's handsome confidence to carry me through. My pocket sized transistor radio might bring me news of road closures, spreading pandemics, or the whereabouts of the toxic gas cloud, but Gav's tenacious digit will be an antenna of hope--broadcasting a message of fortitude as I wait for local rescue teams to read the manual on the jaws of life. I even threw an extra pack of flashlight batteries into the kit, just so I'd be able to look at the picture that much longer as I huddle in my garbage bag tent.

There. Now, go ahead and check out Yahoo!'s "reporting." See the carnage for yourself. But don't say I didn't warn you.

-- Alex Newkirk

Our first prediction for JesseGav in '07